Thursday, February 17, 2011

I am self-superb (or not)

I hate asking for help. It is more than the fact that I am self-sufficient. I am more than sufficient, I mean, I am more than self-adequate, no? What is better than adequate? Superb. I am self-superb. That doesn’t sound right. Superb is not fitting the bill. I will think about it. I digress.

I hate asking for help. During labor, I apologized a thousand times; “I’m sorry” to the nurse; “I’m sorry” to the midwife; a friend said to me (yes, a friend in the labor room—brave soul), “I've never heard you apologize so much. What’s gives?” I replied, “Well, I've never needed so much help. I usually do everything myself.” I am paraphrasing the conversation because I don’t/can’t remember the exact wording but the gist is true. Even during labor I had a difficult time asking for and taking help.
I hate asking for help. I have had to do it so much in the last year. I still hate it. But, practice has maybe made it easier. Here’s the control-freak part, so, when I ask for help, can you do whatever it is exactly the way I would have done it? No? Okay, then it is not helping.

Now who needs a shrink? Wait, I meant to type “Who needs a drink?”

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