Tuesday, March 29, 2011

List of things I hate about my apartment:

1. mold. There is mold everywhere. It was painted over, left for dead, or at least forgotten, but it’s still there; seeping through the walls, foaming out of the cracks and crevices of the bathroom and kitchen. I find traces of it in window ledges in the baby’s room and our bedroom, sometimes even in the living room windows on a steamy day. It sucks. It’s gross. I have a war with the mold. Me and the bleach spray (which is dangerous for the baby so, I spray at night or when she’s in the other room and then open all the windows so we are freezing…it sucks. Did I say that already?)
2. the toilet. The toilet hates to flush. The toilet is lazy. One piece of paper or ten it won’t flush. In this house, it is best to pre-flush the toilet (in addition to post-flushing it, please don’t forget.) Remember Ally McBeal (which I used to call Molly McButter)? Remember the little character that had a remote flusher because he liked a clean bowl? Wouldn’t that be nice?
3. neighbors. My neighbors are nice enough, but people are noisy and nosey and sometimes inconsiderate even though well-meaning. I am sick of neighbors.
4. creaks. Everything creaks. The floors creak like crazy. We can hear Cat walking around at night because the floors creak so loudly.
5. the bathroom. Add mold, door creaks, and a non-flushing toilet and what do you get? My ugly, nasty, falling-apart bathroom. It is the worst. A constant battle to clean. Noisy plumbing and a useless toilet; maybe we should start going outside like Cat.
6. landlord. Useless.
7. storage. No storage. No closet space. No counters. No real cabinets.

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