Monday, June 20, 2011

Crown Jewels and All, but Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid

What if I can’t find a job? Like, ever? Whole Foods wouldn’t hire me. I know because I have applied and have been rejected.

Do people still live in communes? Is it too late to start one? My thinking is thus: if I can’t find a “straight” or traditional job, then I would like to write full time. But, if I am writing full time then who will watch/play with/love on/discipline Baby S? So, if I start a commune, then maybe, I can write full time and have some other folks around to watch/play with/love on/discipline Baby S. I can help with their babies/pets when I am not writing. One day a week I can make dinner and we can share other responsibilities. Like on Big Love, except without all the creepy polygamy.

Is there a non-weird way to do this? Can we all live in Clintonville with our own homes, maybe just be next door and house-behind neighbors and then share childcare, dinners, and gardening chores?

I know that I am not alone in the feeling that I am doing all of this by myself. Yes, of course, with D’s help and my mom’s help too (at least once a week, which is more than a lot of people get), but it isn’t enough. I hate to say it takes a village….

Maybe we should move somewhere more hippie? Like Ashville, NC or Portland, OR or Yellow Springs, OH.

Here’s more: It might also be better if I had siblings. Being an only child is wonderful in many, many ways, but if I had a sister or brother or both, I might have a small community of people to live with—to commune with. Here’s the rub…I keep thinking that Baby S is going to be an only child—am I setting her up to feel the same way I do when she is grown? Maybe we should have another baby.

Too much for today…I am going to go finish my really good library book. Ann Patchett State of Wonder. Read it.

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