Monday, April 9, 2012

Company


“I’m almost too lonely to speak. My eyes dart around when you’re talking to me.
I can’t seem to make myself not think about the past and how you are now.

I think I’ve been left alone long enough to do something insane. My friends they worry I’m wasting away, I wish they’d just not say a thing.”
                                                            - Jessica Lea Mayfield

New York is the most deeply lonely city that I have ever been to or lived in. It’s not for lack of people in proximity. There are millions. Some days it feels like there are a million on one train. Other nights, very late, you won’t pass a soul on the street. Both scenarios can be desolate for the soul. It’s hard to be surrounded by people and to feel the lack, the void, the isolation—the island. Maybe that’s why it’s so tough to be lonely in relationships…what’s the point of having someone near by if they are not close at heart? How can I be lonely? Proximity versus connection baby, what else? 

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