Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Wagon (It's No Oregon Trail)

Through the eyes of a recovering alcoholic we all look like drunks, like we are at risk for, if not in the throes of full-blown, addiction. But aren’t we just having some fun? Well, aren't we? Are there not ways to have some fun without drinking? Certainly, yes.

So, part 1, what’s the attraction? What’s the need? Isn’t any mind/mood-altering substance just that—something that changes or alters your perspective, cognition, development, clarity, softening the brute force of life—isn’t that what we are numbing, avoiding, taking a break from? Trying to soften the blows, cushion the mind and soul from the daily grind…. 

Sometimes I drink to forget. Sometimes I drink to remember. Sometimes, I drink because it's fun to let loose a bit, to be social, to be silly and chatty and to let the mind rove more freely--let yourself get down, let yourself go. 

I do not drink every day--in fact most days I do not drink a drop. But I like wine and beer and bourbon. And sometimes, it concerns me that I think about the next time I can have a good, stiff drink. And after particularly nasty days, I crave a drink to wash away the tension in my frontal lobe--a mind eraser, if you will. 

I want to be more conscious and contentious about drinking. Pay attention to what it is that I want when I want a drink, the whyfors, etc. It might not change anything, but I want to know. 

One thing is for sure, yo, I need a vacation.

Part 2: what else to do?

New goals and old goals (in no order):
Make S laugh…play more "mo, mo mama?" 

Run new trails; highbanks, Sharon woods, Blendon woods, etc.
Sign up for 5K and 10K
Take guitar lessons
Clean the house!
Swim, swim, swim in the ocean and pool
Make pretty necklaces with old buttons (not joking)
Lose 20 more pounds, baby! Get that thing back (that thing, that thing, that thing)
Write a trashy teen novel and make a bazillion dollars
Watch all movies in Netflix queue—started with Bill Cunningham’s NY—it made me want to take more pictures. Yea.
Take more pictures
Go camping--take the kid on her first camping trip--what fun!

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