Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Dear A(sshole)wesome Moms [God, please forgive me]

Look, let’s face it, while I’m not white trash, I am not like you. You can fuck straight off with your “concern” and  “I’m-not-judging-but”s and suck a big, fat hairy donkey cock.  That’s right. Did you hear? You. Can. Suck. A BIG. F A T. Donkey. Cock.

I am so sick of your judgment. I am so sick of your fear.  I love my kid and myself and I am not afraid of you. I like myself. And, I liked myself before I was a mom. Yes, being a mom has (and will continue) to inform my life, but it is not the main focus of my life. If being a mom is your main focus, you are in the fucking mom-weeds.

And, I do feel sorry for you. AND I do empathize, but I do not condone it. Being in the mom-weeds is and should be a phase, not a lifestyle. Move on. Give your kids a chance to bloom without your hawkish, hot, monitoring, breath on them. God, and for the love of God, give them a chance to be, just them, without you. You are HUGE. Stop shadowing, stop hover-crafting, stop helicoptering…. FUCK!?!?! Can you imagine—wait, please imagine…pause, breathe, imagine…. Your mom constantly hovering over you? Really? Is that okay?


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