Jack Kerouac wrote, "Be in love with your life, every detail of it." It's often misquoted as "Be in love with your life, every minute of it." That detail makes it no less important as a sentiment. Live this life, right now, with love, passion, care in each detail or minute. Agreed. In theory.
Jack didn't have kids. At least none that he knew of. Jack wasn't mired in the banal existence of school lunches & unlaced shoes & broken backpacks & homework. Of last minute projects and book fairs and flash cards. Jack didn't have to share all of his time with another person--Jack wasn't the anchor for another person's ship. Jack didn't have to choose between masturabation or shaving, or thinking or reading. Jack was only responsible for Jack. And good for him. It's good of him to remind us that life is a journey to be cherished and lived with the intensity and joy of a single man traveling the world alone for fun. Ah, youth. [insert cliches here]
My friend sent me a birthday card with his quote on it. It reminds my friend of me. And why shouldn't it? It's what we say to each other--shit, girl, don't forget to live your life--get yours! Get it in the middle of folding all the little bits of laundry. Get it while you're doing the second sink-full of dirty dishes. Get yours while you're reading Wocket In My Pocket (again, sigh.) Get yours while you're standing on line--so much time spent standing on lines.
I'm so tired of squeezing it all into the smallest cracks in time. This means that I need to rearrange. I'm the one responsible for how much time I spend standing on line. I too can control some of the other demands made on me. I can say no. I can also take some time to remeasure what is most important. I will not be able to avoid all my mother's duties and I don't want to miss all of those things--I want to be there to read to S and tie her shoes. But I will not start packing her lunches just because Ben wants her to pack her lunch. Ben is adorable, but come on buddy?! I can make the most of my own time. Reconfigure what's important to me. What does that balance look like? Let me find out, shall I?
Habits are life saving at times, but habits also kill humans dead. Time to save my own soul and love more details of this life of mine. Here I go again on this road. Making me better all the time, no?
Just wait until I get to my new year's resolutions. Next time. Don't rush me.